4 Things I Learned from My Ex

I’m a strong man. I mean a really strong man! I can bench press over 400 pounds of pure iron without breaking a sweat—and that’s on a bad day!

But my physical strength was no match for the emotional weight I experienced during my divorce from a woman who barely weighed 150 pounds. I may have had strength on my side, but she had the power or rather I gave her the power to control my heart, mind and actions. And once you give away those three, you give away yourself.

The days and months leading up to my divorce were unbearable, and there are no words that I can use to describe the anger that festered in me. But anyone who has ever been serious about weight lifting knows that a good trainer can help you pump 400 pounds without injuring yourself. So, I took my emotional barbells—and my pride— and dropped them at the feet of Jesus! I confessed my helplessness to the Lord and what He said to me is my encouragement to you:“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. …For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor. 12: 9-10). 

God used the brokenness of divorce to reveal to me four life-changing truths:

1. Never Say What You Can't Handle or Bear. I Corinthians  10:13 "a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it". One of the things that I would always say is that 'I couldn't handle being cheated on'. 'I said that I wouldn't know what to do if that happened to me'. 'I said that I would lose it if my wife was unfaithful' but when that very unforeseen challenge came upon me I was able to bear it because the Lord made a way of ESCAPE for my emotions, fears and anger. I had strength that I never thought I had and thankfully I bore it. Because of God I withstood the rain, took the pain and still maintained.
2. When I Was At My Weakest, I Was Never Weak. Jesus' words to Paul became his words to me 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. God's strength for me was like that famous Footprint photo with the two sets of footprints in the sand ending and only one set of prints were left and it came about that when the two pairs of sets ended the believer couldn't continue and Jesus was carrying them and thus the one set of prints. When my human strength ended Gods supernatural power kicked in and his super was on my natural carrying me through a place where many are too weak to endure but instead of my weakness being revealed God's strength in my life was on display. 
3. Even Beauties Can Have A Beast In Her Heart. When men love their wives we tend to make them our untouchable Queens. Not taking into account that there are spiritual powers that may have entered our beauties whether they be voices, thoughts or feelings that can influence them to make external decisions that are unwise and ungodly, like having an affair. The bible calls them unclean spirits or strongholds Luke 8:2 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, Acts 16:16 16 And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying:
   17 The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.
   18 And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour. 
4. People Are People, Its Better To Trust The Lord. I placed my ex on the highest pedestal there was thinking that she was above reproach. Do you remember the song that says "Earth Angel, Earth Angel" that is what I made her out to be only to discover that she was in fact human. I came to realize that placing ones spouse on too high a platform can be a lot of pressure for them and extraordinary pain for their spouse when they fail. The bible says that it is best to see people as people and to trust the Lord  Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. But understand that this in no wise releases people from the responsibility of being faithful and but it teaches us to know that people can chose to let you down but God will not never be untrue. So, expect people to be people and God to be God and trust Him at all times.